There has been a video circulating the internet for a few days now, and whilst it is 10 minutes long, it will show you something that affects everyone.
Regardless of who or what you are.
If you are already thinking ‘oh god, I can’t be bothered to watch this’ or ‘Another person writing about the same thing as everyone else’ then please take a moment and think,
“What if that person was me?”
What if you were Shane, and your partner was Tom?
If you had met me a few years ago, when I was the typical university student who enjoyed drinking wayyyy to much and worrying about me, myself and I, then you would have known that I was against gay marriage. I know right, a gay guy is not supporting his community.
But hear me out on this.
I, like a lot of people in my generation and older generations, was brought up in a small town where traditions existed. Marriage to me was portrayed as a man and a woman uniting in a small church in the countryside, where you marry, have children, and continue on with your day to day life. I had never heard of the word ‘gay’ until I was about 11 years old. That is 11 years of tradition surrounding me, and even when I did hear it I was still unsure of what it was for a while. Throw in a few negative associations of the word at secondary school in this small town, and suddenly you feel that you have to go with the crowd to be cool and fit in, regardless of what you are. Afterall, who didn’t want to be popular and in with the cool kids?
Nowadays, children hear the word gay well before they are 11, and know exactly what it is. They are exposed to it and will grow up being more likely to accept it. Advertising has moved forwards, television too, and it is now prominent on a daily basis.
Obviously, my opinions have changed from those before; thats just down to the simple case of maturing and being exposed to a wider world than that of a small countryside town and realising what I stand for.
I am as equal as the person next to me; marriage equality is something I firmly believe in. Not only is it a symbol of unity, affection and love, but also a protection as you see in the video. Unfortunately, there are still people out there who are naieve, who belive it is wrong and just see it as a way for homosexual people to be even more proud of who they are.
It is simply not the case. We do not need marriage to be proud of who we are or flaunt homosexuality. We are proud of who we are. Relationships do not need a ring on each others finger to prove a point, whether you are straight, bi or gay.
It is simply a case of being treated equally and having the same rights as everyone else.
There are a lot of equality websites and groups that have sprung up over the last few years. Amongst the traditional websites such as Stonewall and The Human Rights group are a few new websites, noteably Ditch The Label (@DitchTheLabel) and OneLoveOneHeart (@1L1Hcampaign). Check them out- you will be surprised as how informative and friendly they are (not to mention the HOT guys and girls in the imagery!).
There are still people who are against gay marriage and civil partnerships, or just have a tendancy to judge and label people. Please share this on your Facebook or Twitter and let them see the consequences people like Shane had to go through due to not having equal rights, it really will make a difference.
I changed my perception, we need to change others.
Wow.. such an emotional story.. My heart sank when i realsied what had happened… I have a boyfriend and he is the most important person in my life. He walked into my life at a time i thought i had nothing more to live for. We are not married yet but something like this makes me want to hurry it up. I couldn’t imagine him not being able to make any decision about me if anything were to happen to me. I spend all my time with him and share the happy times in my life with him. A side to me no one else see’s.. I just want to give you a huge hug…Love from Ireland…xxxxx
After watching this tonight I went to that legal zoom website & got their will, power of attorney, & advance medical directive packages filled out & ordered to protect my girlfriend until I/we can get around to an appt with a “proper” attorney! (SOMETHING we just keep stupidly, putting off, although we know we SHOULD have already done this years ago!!!) Even though we both have written up a few “handwritten wills” who knows how they would hold up in court? We’ve been together 15 years, have 4 pets, financial assests, some jointly held some separate, we own a home together, 3 cars & 15 years worth of accumulated possessions etc BUT IF SOMETHING TRAGIC, LIKE THIS happened to either of us tomorrow, I don’t know if I could really trust my family to “do the right thing” ESP when there’s money involved! Yes currently, my family loves & accepts her, but things always change when someone dies & greed takes over! I refuse to leave her security up tp chance a day longer!
Watching this very sad video scared the s**t out of me! Now until I can get a proper will drawn up, at least I can give her some peace of mind, that she won’t be forced to leave our home, & can make any necessary medical decisions for me & if the worst happened, she could handle my burial decisions, just as I trust her to! Best hundred or so dollars I’ve spent & I would urge any gay couples seeing this video to do the same!
Get something drawn up NOW! NOT TOMORROW!!! I think this is a common oversight with most people, but ESP with us gay people, we like to think we are young & will never die or at least not for a long long time, but this kind of thinking will set you up for a big wakeup call, where you wake up in a nightmare of legal red tape, and you really, then, will only see, just how little you matter as a GAY lifetime partner in the eyes of the law & your respective families! Death always brings out hidden animosities, personal prejudices & petty jealousies in any family but if you are GAY these can be tenfold in their impact & potential damage they can inflict on your life, if you are NOT protected! Even if it is just a handwritten will or some kind of taped video will expressing your final wishes! DO IT! MAKE ONE & MAKE EXTRA NOTARIZED COPIES, & MAKE SURE YOU PUT A FEW IN THE SAFE HANDS OF GOOD FRIENDS YOU CAN TRUST!
Anything can happen in life! It just sucks that a straight couple who just ONLY met, can be married in Vegas for just ONE day & they instantly have hundreds of rights conveyed in their union, rights that we aren’t “allowed” to have after being together 15 years, unless they are legally written up in exhaustive detail ahead of time My girlfriend has been hospitalized before, luckily it was nothing major & I was able to say I was “her sister” & could ask about her & get in to “see” her but if it was anything serious I would have been “shut” out! This IS DISCRIMINATION IN ITS WORST FORM where you are at the mercy of others, & can be treated just like a stranger off the street & must trust others to decide things for you that should be YOUR RIGHT as a devoted spouse!
I applaud his bravery & strength to carry on! I don’t think I, personally, would be able to carry on myself! We’ve been together since our late 20′s & I can’t imagine having to start over if I lost her, let alone deal with all the legal B.S. of having to disentangle our estate, possessions, & asssets from one another’s if something horrible happened to either of us! I shudder over what would happen to our pets if we died in a car crash together so I WILL need to get into an attorneys for a backup plan, eventually, but that can wait!
When will this discrimination ever end? Hopefully it will END in our lifetime! Thank you Shane for taking action & sharing your own personal tragedy to help get the “abject & very grim reality” out there for ALL to see gay & straight alike, of just how UNEQUAL & POWERLESS WE REALLY ARE IN THE EYES OF THE LAW! May your healing be slow but sure & I can only hope you’ve been blessed this past year with supportive friends & family to help your grieve your loss & somehow find a way to rebuild your life!